The Final Destination Series (2000-2011)

written by Glen Morgan, James Wong, Jeffrey Reddick, J. Mackye Gruber, Eric Bress, and Eric Heisserer

based on a story by Jeffrey Reddick

directed by James Wong, David R. Ellis, and Steven Quale

Filmmaker Woody Allen famously said, “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Can’t say I disagree. And yet, what horror fan doesn’t like to see death depicted on screen in all its glory? It’s the goal of all those chainsaw-wielding killers, hungry zombies, evil demons, and vengeful ghosts of the stories we love. And yet, no movie had ever made Death itself the main antagonist – we’d only seen it personified, as in The Seventh Seal (1957) or Meet Joe Black (1998) – until Final Destination (2000), a low-budget supernatural flick based on an original idea for The X-Files (1993-2018). Written and directed by Glen Morgan and James Wong, both alumni of that hit TV show, the film was a major success, spawning four sequels (kind of) in which ol’ Grim Reaper dispatches humans (usually young ones) in the most unforgiving and creative of ways. Let’s revisit them all… if you dare.

In the original Final Destination, teenager Alex (Devon Sawa) has a premonition about a plane explosion in which he and his friends will die, manages to save himself and several others, and then spends the rest of the movie trying to convince everyone that Death is an entity coming to finish the survivors. In all honesty, it’s all pretty ridiculous, particularly when it comes to the rules of why and how Death is doing this (a mortician played by Tony Todd dishes out the info with little explanation). But it is highly entertaining, because trying to figure out the overly complicated – and usually gruesome – demises is a whole lot of fun (you would think a quick heart attack would suffice, but no, the dude with the scythe has a sadistic streak).

Best Elimination: Death really does a number on poor teacher Ms. Lewton (Kristen Cloke). A piece of glass fatally cuts her throat, a falling knife stabs her in the stomach, and then a chair drops down on top of the knife. And just in case all of that wasn’t enough, her whole house explodes with her inside. Gotta be thorough.

Side note: This is the only film in the series in which Death “cleans up” after a murder. A leaky toilet is the first step in making Alex’s friend Tod (Chad E. Donella) die of asphyxiation; afterward, the puddle retreats back to its point of origin. An interesting idea that was never followed through.

Rating: **½

The first sequel in the series follows the rule of “give ’em the same, but more of it,” beginning with a highway accident so over-the-top and ludicrous, you can’t help but laugh. In fact, Final Destination 2 (2003) is campier and cheesier than the original, with several moments that almost veer into parody. It’s also badly acted and directed, the CG is pretty terrible, and the finale in which the heroine (A.J. Cook) must kill herself in order to get revived and therefore “trick” Death… give me a break.

Best Elimination: Mom Nora (Lynda Boyd) thinks she’s being attacked in an elevator, tries to escape, and ends up caught between the doors as the cab moves up and decapitates her. In a dangerous situation, you should never, um, lose your head.

Side note: In this movie, sometimes Death affects things directly and not as a result of “natural” cause and effect. It’s one thing for the wind to close a door or a toilet leak on the floor, as in Final Destination. It’s another for air conditioning vents to close by themselves or an oxygen cart to roll away on its own volition. Just saying.

Rating: *½

The big intro of Final Destination 3 (2006) is at an amusement park, where high schooler Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) has a vision of a malfunctioning roller coaster that hurls riders to their deaths. It’s a slow-burn scene, and establishes this second sequel as a back-to-basics affair (it was written and directed by Morgan and Wong again) that brings back the tension and atmosphere that made Final Destination an exciting ride. Winstead gives the best performance in the whole series, and there are several memorable farewells. The second climax aboard a runaway subway is a bit bland, but otherwise this installment is worth the ride.

Best Elimination: Many will point to the tanning salon scene where two girls get burnt to a crisp. But my favorite sequence is the one at a hardware store where you think goth guy Ian (Ian McKinley) will die but is narrowly saved by Wendy. Death quickly jumps to the next in line, Ian’s girlfriend Erin (Alexz Johnson), who’s dispatched by a nail gun. This never happened at Home Depot.

Side note: I like the idea of Wendy realizing that her photographs contain clues as to the way in which everyone will die – sure, kinda stolen from The Omen (1976), but still effective.

Rating: **½

The team behind Final Destination 2 is back for this unwatchable third sequel rendered even worse by 3D. I mean, this thing is bad. The Final Destination (2009) is decidedly the worst film in the entire franchise: Loud, obnoxious, uninspired, and with the production value of a carnival ride. A straight-to-video release would’ve been more dignified.

Best Elimination: None. The only remotely suspenseful bit involves a faulty car wash that tries to kill college student Janet (Haley Webb), but she’s ultimately rescued, so it doesn’t count.

Side note: Once again, Death sometimes acts in a more hands-on way, like in the scene in which it locks a tow truck door so the owner can’t get inside. What is this, Christine (1983)?

Rating: *½

Final Destination 5 (2011) is thankfully an improvement over the previous installment, with a cool opening credits sequence and a nifty surprise at the end that brings the series full circle. But at this point, fatigue is certainly an issue, and even though the CG and 3D are certainly better than in The Final Destination, they still distract from the final product.

Best Elimination: Perhaps it’s because I wear glasses, but I squirmed during the scene where vision-impaired Olivia (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) goes for a procedure and the laser malfunctions, cutting into her eye. Worse, she doesn’t die from this, but rather from crashing through the clinic’s window and falling to the ground below… where her eye pops out. I’m definitely keeping my specs.

Side note: I’m also reevaluating my weekly acupuncture treatments.

Rating: **

Carlos I. Cuevas

Final thoughts: Stick to the two movies made by Morgan and Wong, the only ones that strike a fairly good balance of horror and dark humor. Funny enough, as I finish writing this, I see that the coffee machine is dripping all over the counter. Wait, that’s a bit close to the electrical outl————————–